#irls don’t look at me rn
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“mumbo sleeps on the couch” “grian sleeps on the couch” turns out none of them do??? apparently they could be peak divorce but they STILL share a bed whats up with that??
#life series#life series smp#trafficblr#gtws#grian#mumbo#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#life series headcanon#traffic smp#trafficshipping#<— technically#irls don’t look at me rn
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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i think uh. the Announcement has ruined my night actually. the more i think abt it the worse it gets haha.. 🙃🫠 like literally i don’t think there’s a way the movie can be good. i’m gonna get off social media for tonight & go play switch or smthn,,,,,,,,
#rambles#yes this is abt the fcking zelda movie#god i just. i’m so mad cuz like. i can’t just /not/ watch it cuz now it exists & i just. i have to#but i’m so tired GOD why does it have to be live action??#i literally don’t think i will ever come to terms with this#ugh & the worst thing that is so specific to me they’re gonna cast link as some ugly fuck actor who legit just looks like some dude#& (god i am oversharing rn) i literally love link so much & my aroace ass has never found an irl person attractive ever & i just.#i fear for my mental stability at this point#god i am sorry to anyone who’s reading these tags at this point i’m sorry for being such a. whiny baby lol
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Wondering if I should focus on getting more followers or drawing stuff I actually want to, not scared of how ppl or my mutuals will like it?
Idk just want to draw some really self indulgent shit rn, but like what’s the point of doing it when I don’t get dopamine from ppl interacting with my posts? Might as well save the dopamine for like other things that ppl actually want to see
#coastal’s mumbles#don’t mind me I’ve been thinking to deep into what I really am lately and I am severely disappointed in myself so kinda just mumbling rn#god I’m touch starved so bad I am having to force myself not to draw me platonically cuddling Jigsaw or Lemon Shark Jack#idk man maybe like cuddling a cat or dog instead so it isn’t looked at sexually or romantically#or I could actually draw smth my followers want to see for once#might just continue to make shitty as hell memes so sm is happy#I’m so weird and cringe it’s terrible#but then like I rarely show emotion irl so idk wtf is up with me#like why am I like this lil freak online when irl I’m so who fades away into shadows every 5 seconds
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I've had MCU fatigue for years at this point, can’t remember when was the last time I was actually excited for something (DS:MoM probably) but I've watched the trailer for the new Captain America a couple weeks ago and now the Thuderbolts teaser that Just came out like an hour ago and jendkrmjdnrkfnfurjr
OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE WE BACK????????
This feels like having The Winter Soldier glory days back and Im here for it. Gimme gimme gimme *insert grabby hands x100*
#personal#Raksh posts#mcu#can you tell Ive been FROTHING AT THE MOUTH#GIMME WINTER SOLDIER BUCKY UDBDKDNSJENDKDIFJ#y'all if you haven't seen the Thunderbolts teaser that just came out#and you're TWS Bucky fans GO WATCH IT#also on a complete unrelated side note#the way this Bucky looks would make Perfect irl fancast for Skyrim's Vilkas#Im sorry I can’t unsee it now 🙈😂😂#but Im SO EXCITED#I don’t care about anything or anyone else#(well the new guy seems interesting but THAT ASIDE)#I need me more of TWS coded Bucky#I Live for it#loved those moments in the show years ago#and I mean CA:TWS still Is my dave MCU movie so Im very much biased lmao#the others are gonna be great and fun for sure#but TWS Bucky!!!!!#CHEWING KN GLASS OVER HERE#GNAWING ON THE BIT#Im so unwell rn#honestly shocked how this one teaser unlocked the dusty stores of my old obsession pheeew 💨#Im gonna go hunt down some gifsets to reblog#bcs my teeth are itching and I need to BITE HIM#anyway#sorry not sorry for the rant#Im going through it#😂😂🙈
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im so happy for my sibling
#camera talks#irls can ignore probably just cuz but also idk I don’t care#anyways they just got the better job at their farm (now they are the barn manager)#their apartment that came with the job is way bigger#they enjoy what they’re doing#and her gf is moving out here next spring or summer#and she’s awesome#and all this After my parents basically said she’d go nowhere from dropping out of college#I’m so glad she is where she is#it’s amazing like. genuinely brings tears to my eyes cuz yeah that’s my sibling#and I miss living in the same house as them a Lot still#but also her life is going really well rn#and maybe I have something to look forward to as well that’s all I’m saying#anyways I’m so so happy for them (there is more I’m happy for but that’s a hashtag secret :))#and also so happy to go to the faire with them tomorrow#and so happy they accepted me#and augh they’re just really cool okay
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Idk how any of you are getting the ick or weird vibes from anyone yet.. I’m still where I was night one. My mind did change about Red tho bc he’s fully just there and I haven’t heard his voice since the premier lmao.
Everyone is vibing idk 🤷🏾♀️ Also, we gotta hang up the clown wig and be real about Kirsten putting herself in the position she’s in. Same with Jared. If you talk too much and the entire house knows they can’t trust you, word will get around. This is not a Taylor situation they’re just bad players from what we’ve seen so far. If I was in the house and saw an easy target in someone id let them ruin their own game and mind my business. Izzy taking the initiative to use that her to advantage isn’t a wild choice to make and she’s not a rat for doing it. If she starts throwing people under the bus or taking private info to other people then she’s a rat. This is all just early game strategy I?? Don’t get all the fuss rn I really don’t
#I’m out for blood but not when it’s unwarranted#there’s a lot of people I probably wouldn’t vibe with irl but they don’t give me the ick#bb Twitter people if this is y’all acting up it’s on sight 👀#bbtumblr is here for vibes and mess but not.. whatever weird ass assumptions are making about these normal ass people#I went in this season ready to hate on all the racists and all the homophobes etc but 🤷🏾♀️#there’s not shit to hate on rn#I’m not gonna preach about troops or whatever bc I don’t give a fuck about the troops#if you sign up to kill people and come back with trauma I hope you do get the help you need#the military is a choice 8/10 times I’m sorry 🤷🏾#does being in the military equat to being a serial killer? idk I’m not the one to say#none of these people look like serial killers to me tho lmao like wtf does that even mean?#idc to find out#bb25
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if I ever became obnoxiously rich I wouldn’t announce it but. there would be Signs
#tolkien crack#y’all if I was rich I’d order one in a heartbeat I’ve searched for the name of the weave and wool etc etc etc for YEARS YEARS fr#it’s so beautiful#😭😍#I obviously cannot afford these irl but oh to dream. look how beautiful#maybe when I someday go to nz I will save an extra $1000 for one of these lmao#but my god look at them… OUGH#beloved#major lotr feels rn#tolkien#the scarf of the same weave is Tempting me#don’t tempt me Frodo!!
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my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared
#purrs#delete later#ask to tag#(putting slashes thru things so that they don’t show up in search btw)#i have no right to be scared bc im not there. but im so scared for the people of ga/za. and i am so scared that… idk. it’s completely my#fault bc i go looking for these kinds of things on purpose to hurt myself. but i doomscrolled last night about ww/3 and the possibility of#nu/clear war being fueled by is/rael’s ‘war’ on pale/stine and not only am i sick with fear about the people living directly in that region#but i am so fucking scared of the possibility of nu/clear war. or like. any war breaking out in the us. which i know is a ridiculous self#centered thought to have but my anxiety is out of fucking control rn and it has been getting worse throughout the week. i just don’t know#how to wrap my head around the violence of this week. and so few je/wish ppl i know irl are antizi/onist and ppl just expect me to be#supportive of is/rael jsut bc im je/wish and it makes me fucking FURIOUS not only because i resent these horrors being committed to innocent#people in the name of my own people but it is so extremely dangerous to conflate j/udaism with zi/onism. the consequences diasporic je/ws#are goi ng to face are of course nowhere near as central or all-consumingly violent as the people in gaz/a and i feel personally safe enough#as someone who (and i know this is kind of a terrible thing to say) passes very easily as a go/y (esp w a mask on) and has a g/oy last name#but i am so fucking terrified of the antise/mitism getting worse here and have been exposing myself to evidence of it even though it is#extremely destructive to my mental health. but also i deeply resent the rhetoric around ‘reach out to your j/ewish friends they’re suffering#rn’ because…. we are not a monolith nor are we the direct victims in this situation and it just feels so uncomfortable and centering to make#it an issue of silence etc etc when… there are innocent ppl in g/aza who are experiencing terror no human being should ever have to endure#and most of them are children and they are the people who will ‘pay’ most directly and immediately and severely for what happened a week ago#i just feel so fucking on edge from this entire situation and unable to do anything to help when the destruction is imminent and this#nightmare of a country is at the core of so much suffering in this world and it will take centuries to undo it all and in the meantime so#many innocent people are going to die and maybe the entire world will be destroyed by nu/clear war which we are basically begging for at#this point. it’s so hard to function in my personal life when i am keenly aware of what could be happening at any moment#i don’t know how to end this post. im just fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do
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i’ve been stricken with so many problems.
#1) the fucking yearning. go away. i don’t need romantic love. it SUCKS and it’s BAD. disgusting.#2) a sudden repulsion for skirts???? WHAT THE HELL. I LOVE SKIRTS. BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO WEAR THEM RN. it’s so fucking weird.#3) i have to actually decide what to do with my life. like. big things. like getting a damn apartment.#4) the crippling fear of growing up has resurfaced. i just turned 20. i don’t want to do this shit anymore.#anyway i’m fine 👍#i suppose this is a vent post??? but in the tags.#haven’t vented on tumblr dot com in a hot hot hot minute#not since my irl friend started following me (hopefully they’re not reading this but if they are: hi)#ranting in the tags feels SO much safer. like. no one’s coming in here#OH ANOTHER THING.#5) a fucking midterm is here and it takes EFFORT.#it’s whatever im just feeling feelings and that’s all right#at least i have a fun little thing to look forward to this weekend#im going to see a ballet !!!#but damn……::::that makes me think about how i’ll never actually do anything with my life.#like we can’t all be on the stage but hell#like??? the knowledge that it only gets worse from here???????????? what the actual hell#and sometimes i think about how i’ll always have to be in the closet.#which sometimes im completely fine with and other times it hurts me a lot#idk. IDK.#anyway. im 20 and i don’t know what im doing with my life and ive never had a lover and i don’t have many friends#and i don’t have any passions or dreams or goals and we’re all only here to one day die.#damn i guess this is why people journal#maybe i should pick up journaling#i think it’d help tbh#anyway im rlly truly actually done now#edit: I HAVE ANOTHER PROBLEM#6) MY PERIOD IS MAKING ME UPSET. everything hurts and im gonna be so nauseous and gross tomorrow help me. pain & agony#7) i cant fall asleep!!!!!!!!!!! but im so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#8) im gonna have to sit thru a transphobic + misogynistic + toxic ass chapel teaching tomorrow.
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I have three thoughts that pop up every time I see a dusthide. Not all of them each time, but at least one
Most common thought: he have no ears 😭
Second most common: armadillo (armadillos have ears though, so I guess more pangolin? But the way they are segmented… the pangolin thing reminds me of their claws more though. Hmm, overthinks what species of real animals one can compare them to)
And the final one: so, remember those toys from the 2000s that you put on a magnet and they went from a ball to a little guy?
Update, I have gotten sleep and am now confused about why I was so sad every time I saw that they had no ears
#emma posts#flight rising#every. single. time. my brain says that first one#I cannot look at them without thinking about their no ear smooth head#which is kinda funny because many dragons have no ears#but they have other stuff and aren’t so smooth#will my brain shut UP about the ear thing?#I hope it does#I didn’t get much sleep and my brain keeps getting irrationally sad about no ears#I HAVE NO LOGICAL REASON TO FEEL SAD ABOUT THIS#i just had a terrible night and now my emotions are wacky#rational mind: looking at the design. sleep deprived irrational mind: smooth head#I’m trying to think of dragons who have visible ears and I’ve thought of three#imperials spirals and veilspun#but most dragons have spines or feathers#I forgot pearlcatchers.#I also forgot obelisk. this is going to repeat itself isn’t it#they call me the forgetter because I#I actually do have memory problems irl#I forgot gaoler. but in my defense I don’t actually have any of those in my lair so I will use that excuse#snappers are a bit of a conundrum because their ear holes are visible but they have no real external ear structure#I remembered correctly! tundra have external ears! I just only have one tundra rn so I was second guessing before I checked
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Lost the fight
(I’ll win the war)
#against myself#trigger warning!!!!!!!!!#tw#cigarettes#blood tw#how heathers of me for putting out my cigarette on my arm teehee#I’m like obviously not okay don’t think I’m romanticizing this okayyyyyyy#/:#self harm mention#look if I can’t tell tumblr who can I tell#certainly not anyone irl#certainly not a therapist#my art#I’m a little like manic??? rn
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honestly. on one hand. i really really really like the version of peter pan from once upon a time, in the way that the actor does a phenomenal job, the character has great dialogue and is just overall really really enjoyable to watch imo. but then i remember how he kept wendy in a cage for like 300 years and like
i stan him but that is so. AGSJDHJDHDJ. like i feel SO BAD for wendy there. this poor girl honestlyyy. like. that’s so disturbing honestly. like i can’t imagine much things that would mess with someone’s psyche more than that. like if he had just kept her on the island then fine, but constantly in that tiny hanging cage??? big OOF.
like i’m sure she’d need like permanent therapy afterwards and even then how would you even begin to unpack that in therapy???? like??????
#like pan ily but was that necessary?????#the worst part abt liking villains is when they do stuff like that ahdkndkfnfkf#(that part is a joke. just to be clear)#like idk he’s so cool but that makes me side eye him anyway. also cuz like? what was that like?? like was she just kinda there or did he/the#lost boys actually interact with her? on a regular basis i mean. other than giving her like food and whatever. and like if yes. then how did#they interact? was it taunting her? more civil? maybe with some of the lost boys even friendly? or just plain threatening??#like there are things that are way more outright and obviously cruel but this is like probably the worst thing he’s done bc its so prolonged#like abandoning rumple was bad already. but he couldn’t have known that that pain would last for hundreds of years instead of a few decades#and the thing with killian’s brother liam was also not great (i don’t remember the details of that scene so idk rn if he told them about how#the water works exactly or not so idk if he was being a total bitch or if they just didn’t listen) but either way liam’s pain was also not#that long yk? like he died and that was that. sure- killian’s grief was v v long but idk if i’m counting that bc he’s not the one that was#directly hurt yk? anyway yeah. AND THEN THE THING W WENDY. like taking her as a hostage is one thing but doing that for iirc THREE fucking#centuries in such a tiny ass uncomfortable looking cage???????? that’s ridiculous#like i can’t even fathom how much her psyche would be messed up by that irl#moi#fandoms#ouat peter pan#ouat wendy darling#peter pan ouat#wendy darling ouat#once upon a time#ouat#hajshdifjjdjd#sorry for the rant but it was fun and will happen again <3
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Therapist: “I remember all those 2000s magazines with the low rise jeans and hip bones sticking out of them, it’s just unrealistic!”
Me: Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it
#I guess it’s kinda good for me that she’s never seen me irl#our sessions are virtual so she’s only seen my face and hands#she hasn’t even actually seen my arms or anything cuz I exclusively wear baggy tees and gigantic flannels#I think she’d be more worried about the state of things if she knew what I really looked like underneath everything#but rn this is working to my advantage#cuz she’s already worried and I don’t need more of that#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeran#cosmic is sick
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Gods my cognitive function is not functioning rn
Vent in tags
#my brain just#isn’t working#which is not ideal#as a college student#it’s starting to become noticeable to the ppl around me#and it���s so frustrating#because it’s literally just me being stupid#and making dumb decisions#for seemingly no reason#and it’s probably bc I haven’t been sleeping#but I just look#dumb#and they have no reason to think teasing me abt it is suddenly bad#bc I don’t wanna say that it hurts#bc they don’t need that rn#esp my irl friends (who don’t follow me here)#but FUCK it’s so frustrating!#I feel so fucking stupid#and it’s because I am being stupid!#FUCK#I need more sleep#I’m averaging 5 hrs a night#according to my doctor I specifically require DOUBLE THAT#I REQUIRE 9-10 HOURS OF SLEEP#IM GETTING 5#no wonder I can’t think#or problem solve or type or make sense#vent tw#the bird speaks#the bird fucking loses it
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hearing the devil tell me to read hs again. I know I shouldn’t listen but temptation awaits
#and the aforementioned ik older I’ll get it now etc etc whatever stuff#but like rlly it’s bc mom got me too drunk and stuff. so. now I’m going crazy.#and also I hate my life here I do but shhh don’t tell my irls on here that aka irls don’t look rn bbgs love u
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